1. Peter’s Parents Were Spies or Something
“How do you wanna start this new Spider-Man sequel?”
“Ehhh…how about like a 30 minute scene about Peter’s dad stealing math equations or something.”
Really? What’s the point of having a sequel if you can’t skip all of the unnecessary backstory and get right into the poorly thought out, current story. But if you think that the mind-numbing opening sequence is bad, wait till you get an hour and a half into the movie and you have to watch a 15 minute scene of Peter crying because Aunt May told him his dad sucked. Then he has to google his dad’s name a bunch of times so he can prove her wrong.
2. The Dialogue
So wait. Someone actually wrote this stuff down and thought, “Yeah. This sounds pretty good”. Then after that guy wrote it down, he sent it out to another 500 people, and they all thought it…
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